The city where they wanted to be was 20 miles away with sea between the the island and the city.

The red-head swam 4 miles and drowned of exhaustion, the brunette sawm 10 miles and drowned of exhaustion, the blonde swam 19 miles, got tired, and swam back!!

“Doesn’t speeding over the beautiful country make you glad you are alive?” she asked.

“Glad?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Glad in not the word for it. I’m amazed.”

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says “Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.”

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.”

The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.” The cop says, “Let me see it, then.” So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, “Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You can go now.”

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table for gamblers.

A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

The blonde says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier gambling when I’m bottomless.”

With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice on the craps table while yelling, “Momma needs a new pair of pants!”

She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the craps dealers. “YES! I WIN! I WIN!”

With that the blonde picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves the casino.

The casino dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.

Finally one of them asks, “What did she roll anyway?”

The other answers, “I don’t know, I thought YOU were watching!”