Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
There was an old sheik named Al Hassid
Whose tool had become very placid.
Before each injection
To get an erection
He had to immerse it in acid.
Whose tool had become very placid.
Before each injection
To get an erection
He had to immerse it in acid.
Did you hear that there was a plane wreck in England. The little
two-seater crashed right into grave yard. The rescue teams have
already found 1529 bodies.
two-seater crashed right into grave yard. The rescue teams have
already found 1529 bodies.
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's
special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good,
I'll have that," Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?"
he asks. Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. The chicken sounds good,
I'll have that," Hillary says. The waiter nods. And the vegetable?"
he asks. Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
There was a young fellow from Florida
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
When they got into bed,
He cried, "God strike me dead,
This ain't a cunt, it's a corridor!"
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
When they got into bed,
He cried, "God strike me dead,
This ain't a cunt, it's a corridor!"
Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He
decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General
Motors. The comparison went like this: If automotive technology
had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you
would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top
speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that
weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either
case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to
all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a
car that crashes twice a day?
decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General
Motors. The comparison went like this: If automotive technology
had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you
would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top
speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that
weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either
case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to
all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a
car that crashes twice a day?
Teaching
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no
excuses will be
accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the
immediate family (with a
note from that member).
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion,
sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher
responds with:
"Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing
that way.
A man loved a gal named Bundy
Who came from the Bay of Fundy.
But to his despair,
She gave him the air
Sic transit gloria mundi.
Who came from the Bay of Fundy.
But to his despair,
She gave him the air
Sic transit gloria mundi.